Letting Go of Other’s Opinions

“The unhappiest people in this world are those who care the most about what other people think.”

C. JoyBell C., writer

It took me 39 years, 7 months and 28 days to finally get what that statement was about. I spent all that time concerning myself with what other people thought about my life.

It made me miserable because there was always someone who was offended by what I chose to do to make myself and my family happy.

But then on January 14, 2012, something big happened. I watched my little girl fade away and move into Heaven just two days before her 17th birthday. That changed everything about the way I saw the world and how I cared about others’ opinions.

I no longer care what anyone else outside my home thinks about how we live our lives as a family.

Don’t like what I wear? Simple fix – don’t look.

Don’t like how I raised my surviving daughter? I don’t care, because she is absolute perfection.

Don’t like how my husband and I grieve? Cool. I don’t care.

Don’t like that I smile more now? I don’t care. Quite frankly, if I was crying all the time, there would be opinions about that too.

Don’t like the new vehicle I bought? Great. But I don’t care.

Got opinions about all the vacations we take? Amazing. But I don’t care.

I will tell you what I do care about though. I care and deeply regret that opinions of others prevented me from booking that trip to Disney while the kids were little. As a result, Janelle didn’t get to go, and Gabrielle definitely didn’t enjoy it like she would have. I allowed opinions of people who did not live in my home to persuade me to wait.

Big mistake.

I regret that opinions of others prevented me from letting Janelle get that tattoo she wanted.

I regret that opinions of other people prevented me from allowing the girls to have a voice when it came to extended family and friends, and many times I forced them to do things they didn’t want to do, and quite frankly, I didn’t feel necessary.

Are any of these regrets the fault of others? Nope. It’s my fault alone. Which is why I won’t make the same mistakes again.

I cared way too much what those family members and friends thought of me. But in the end, what does it really matter?

There would have only been happy memories of the girls together at Disney had I taken them. So what if they didn’t remember? I would have remembered!

That tattoo Janelle wanted, well who would that have really hurt? Nobody.

So in the end it really doesn’t matter. Life is too short to live by the expectations and opinions of others.

What matters are the memories you have, the people who are in your life that love and support you for who you are, the people who may not like what you do but congratulate you and let you be you!

So take that trip with the kiddos while they’re little, eat the damn cake, wear the swimsuit, go skinny dipping, love who you love, get the tattoo, skip Christmas and go on a beach vacation, march to the beat of your own drum and definitely get all the dogs you ever wanted!

Life is too short and you get one shot at this! Your shot could be taken away at any time, so give it your all. Enjoy those who invest as much into you as you invest into them. I promise life will become much simpler and happier.

You do you.

Light & Love, Lori